A personalised book to prepare your child for a new sibling
A personalised new-sibling book is a story in which the older child is the hero and gains a new role, big brother or big sister, while feelings such as jealousy are treated as normal. Read during the pregnancy and the first weeks at home, it helps the child rehearse the change and put words to what they feel.
Why is a new baby such a big change for an older child?
Often for the first time, the child shares their parents’ time and attention, and daily routines shift. Jealousy, regression and attention-seeking are common, normal responses, alongside curiosity and affection, and they usually ease with time, patience and reassurance.
Parents are tired, visitors bring presents for the baby and the baby’s needs often come first. Even a child who was excited during the pregnancy can feel left out once the baby is home.
- Regression: toilet accidents after being dry, baby talk, asking for a bottle or a dummy again.
- Jealousy and anger: “send the baby back”, or saying they don’t love the baby.
- Attention-seeking: acting up during feeds or when visitors arrive.
- Clinginess and sleep changes: wanting to be carried, waking more at night.
- Mixed feelings: tenderness one minute, frustration the next.
How can a story help a child cope with a new sibling?
A story lets a child rehearse a change before it happens and gives them words for feelings they cannot yet explain. Guidance from the AAP’s HealthyChildren.org and Ireland’s HSE suggests reading books about babies and siblings with older children.
- Rehearsal: the child lives the baby’s arrival in the story first, so the real day feels more familiar.
- Naming feelings: when the hero feels left out and is still loved, the child learns those feelings are allowed.
- Safe distance: talking about the hero’s feelings is easier than talking about one’s own. “Do you ever feel like that?” opens the conversation.
- Repetition: young children like hearing the same story many times, and each reading repeats the message.
A personalised story adds one thing: the child sees themselves, with their own name and face, in the role of big brother or big sister. More on this in the benefits of personalised books.
What should a good new-sibling story include?
The older child stays the hero, gains a real role, has their feelings validated and sees honest routines: the baby sleeps, cries and feeds a lot and cannot play yet. The ending should promise belonging, not instant love between siblings.
| Element | What it looks like in the story |
|---|---|
| The older child is the hero | They lead the adventure; the baby is someone to protect, not the star |
| A real role | Guardian of the castle, captain of the submarine, the one who teaches |
| Validated feelings | The hero feels cross for a moment, says so and is hugged |
| Honest routines | The baby sleeps a lot, cries, feeds often and can’t play yet |
| Time that stays theirs | The bedtime story with Mum or Dad still happens |
When should you read a new-sibling book with your child?
During the pregnancy, once the child knows about the baby; around the birth and hospital stay; and in the first weeks at home. Bring it back whenever jealousy returns, for example when the baby starts grabbing toys.
| Moment | Practical tip |
|---|---|
| During the pregnancy | Tell your child about the baby yourself, before they hear it from someone else |
| Around the birth | Pack the book for whoever looks after them while you are in hospital |
| First weeks at home | Read it during feeds, so the older child is included rather than sent away |
| Months later | Reread it when the baby becomes mobile and jealousy flares up again |
If you are creating the book, do it a few weeks before the due date: the free preview is usually ready in 2–3 minutes, but the full book’s preparation time varies.
How should you adapt the approach to your child’s age?
At 2–3, keep it concrete and short, and expect some regression. At 4–6, children can talk about feelings and enjoy a helper role. At 7–10, they understand more but may worry about fairness and their own space; give them real responsibilities and time alone with you.
| Age | What helps |
|---|---|
| 2–3 years | Linking the birth to a familiar event (“after Grandma’s visit”), looking at their own baby photos, a short and repetitive story |
| 4–6 years | A helper role (fetching a nappy, choosing a babygrow), praise for kind gestures, permission to say “I don’t like the baby today” |
| 7–10 years | A clear explanation of what will change, protected belongings and activities, a say in small decisions, regular time alone with you |
Heroica writes the story for the age you enter, from 2 to 12. For more, see personalised books by age.
What else helps a child adjust to a new sibling?
Daily one-to-one time, even a short one, steady routines and permission to have mixed feelings matter more than any book. Avoid big changes, such as toilet training or a new bed, right around the birth, and involve the child without forcing them.
- Make big changes earlier or later: a new bed, toilet training or starting nursery is best done well before the birth or once the baby has settled.
- Keep routines: the same nursery, the same bedtime story.
- Protect one-to-one time: Ireland’s HSE notes that even 10 minutes alone with them is good.
- Involve, don’t force: small tasks such as fetching a nappy, and it’s fine if they aren’t interested.
- Accept feelings, limit actions: “You can be cross with the baby, but we don’t hit.”
Bedtime is often where the change is felt most; our guide to personalised bedtime stories has ideas for protecting that ritual.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal for my child to say they don’t want the baby?
Yes. It is a common way of expressing jealousy. Acknowledge the feeling calmly (“it’s hard sharing Mummy”) rather than correcting it; children don’t have to love a sibling straight away.
My child is only two. Are they too young for a sibling story?
No. Two-year-olds benefit from very short, concrete stories with lots of pictures, read often. Keep the message simple: a baby is coming and you are still loved. Heroica’s stories start at age 2.
Is it too late if the baby has already arrived?
No. A story is just as useful in the first weeks and months, when the feelings are real rather than imagined, and later, when the baby starts crawling towards the older child’s toys.
Should the book be a present from the baby?
You can give it from the baby or from yourselves; there is no right answer. What matters more is reading it together, unhurried, and coming back to it whenever your child asks.
Can the story suit twins, adoption or a blended family?
Yes. Choose the lesson A new sibling, or describe your situation under Something else, such as two babies at once or a step-sibling moving in, so the story reflects your family.
What should the dedication say?
Keep it about the older child, not the baby: “For Freya, our first adventure and forever our big girl.” One or two lines are enough; our [guide to personalised book gifts](guia:presentes) has more ideas.
Sources
- Preparing Your Older Child for a New Baby: How to Help Siblings Adjust. HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics)
- Preparing older children for a new brother or sister. HSE (Health Service Executive, Ireland)
- Children and new siblings. NHS 111 Wales
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